Morning walk and Musings

Last Saturday morning my boyfriend, Mark, wanted to go target shooting up hobble creek canyon with my dad. I wasn't planning on going with them since I only have about a one hour attention span for such activities; however, when I went outside for a morning walk and saw just how beautiful the mountains were I couldn't help but tag along. It was a perfect day. The temperature was just right, and the slant of the Mid-October sun was casting momentary pockets of delight along the river bank I was exploring. Sometimes it is good for the soul to have quiet, unhurried, moments to enjoy God's creations. It doesn't matter what kind of mood I'm in--happy, contemplative, heart broken, unsure, confident, hopeful, worried--doesn't matter, I always find a sense of inner peace and wholeness when I'm exploring the natural world around me.
The following day while at church a girl in my ward announced that she had experienced sudden and severe hearing loss due to a virus she contracted at a recent relief society sleepover. How quickly life can throw unwelcome surprises our way. This morning I was reading a post she made about her new challenges. She quoted Elder Dennis E Simmons who said:

“When Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego refused to bow down and worship a golden image set up by the king, a furious Nebuchadnezzar told them that if they would not worship as commanded, they would immediately be cast into a burning fiery furnace.
‘And who is that God that shall deliver you out of my hands?’
“The three young men quickly and confidently responded, "If it be so [if you cast us into the furnace], our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand." That sounds like my eighth-grade kind of faith. But then they demonstrated that they fully understood what faith is. They continued, "But if not, . . . we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up." That is a statement of true faith. They knew that they could trust God—even if things didn't turn out the way they hoped. They knew that faith is more than mental assent, more than an acknowledgment that God lives. Faith is total trust in Him.
Faith is believing that although we do not understand all things, He does. Faith is knowing that although our power is limited, His is not. Faith in Jesus Christ consists of complete reliance on Him.
“So there we have it—it's a test. The world is a testing place for mortal men and women. When we understand that it's all a test, administered by our Heavenly Father, who wants us to trust in Him and to allow Him to help us, we can then see everything more clearly.
“Men accomplish marvelous things by trusting in the Lord and keeping His commandments—by exercising faith even when they don't know how the Lord is shaping them.
“Our God will deliver us from ridicule and persecution, but if not. . . . Our God will deliver us from sickness and disease, but if not . . . . He will deliver us from loneliness, depression, or fear, but if not. . . . Our God will deliver us from threats, accusations, and insecurity, but if not. . . . He will deliver us from death or impairment of loved ones, but if not, . . . we will trust in the Lord."
http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,49-1-439-25,00.html

What a powerful way to view our challenges. I admire her faith. I remember the first time I heard this talk and how the words affected me deeply. As I re-read it this morning I thought of that quiet moment in my living room again. Since then I have experienced a few of those "but if not..." moments in my own life, as we all do. Usually it has been my response to become bitter, or angry, or frustrated when those test of faith have come. However, after thinking of that lovely morning walk the other day I think I need to remember the abundance of good I enjoy in my life every day.
I keep telling myself that someday I am going to convince that boy that is perfect for me in every way to marry me...but if not...the sunrise will still be crisp and beautiful each morning. Someday I will overcome my lack of self confidence...but if not...there will still be brilliant fall leaves, desert roses, and red sandstone cliffs that won't withhold their beautiful colors. Someday I hope to have a family with children of my own but if not I have brothers, and sister-in-laws, and nieces, and nephews, and friends, that share their kindness, and love, and laughter. Someday (even though I am an English major. hah) I might get a good job and never worry about money...but if not...I feel rich when remembering the relationships I have in my life and the beautiful moments that take my breath away.